Lonesome
by lily-lebowski
Summary: Lily and Bug both feel under the weather, and spend the day together.


As Lily entered the morgue that morning, she felt oddly out of sorts. "Gee, maybe it has to do with the fact I'm the only one in the entire morgue who doesn't have somebody. Jordan has Woody, Nigel has Bevan and vice-versa, Garrett is engaged to Nicole, Peter has Elizabeth, and Bug.Well, actually Bug doesn't have anybody either." At the thought of Bug, her mood lifted slightly. Her and Bug had been friends for as long as she had worked here. Lily started to smile as she went through memories of things he had done for her. There was that Christmas when he took her to volunteer at the soup kitchen. "That was really sweet that he thought of me. Especially at Christmas time." All this did not lift her mood entirely, though. She was far too depressed. "You're starting to loose it, Lebowski. Focus. Now where am I? What the heck am I doing in front of Bug's office? I was way too deep in thought there."  
  
Periodically, Bug was thinking about something very different. "Snap out of it, you moron. She is obviously NOT interested in you. Geez, am I referring to myself as a third party? I'm really losing it." He had been thinking about Lily. He was positive she was not interested in dating him. "Why would she be? She is interested in guys like Garret, NOT guys like, oh, say. me. I am totally different than Garret, which is a bad thing, because that means she is either A. Ignoring the signals or B. Not receiving them. Probably a." He was turning the corner and opening his coffee at the same time, and then all of a sudden WHAM! He smacked into something or someone, and was on the floor with coffee all over his shirt. He sat up, and saw what he had hit. Well, actually whom. Lily was sitting on the floor rubbing her head and moaning. "Sorry, Lily. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." He said as he picked up both of their things that had scattered with the collision. "Oh, no. It was completely my fault. I was kinda thinking about, everybody and was watching where I was going." She said, screwing up her face at the last part. They both started picking up the others stuff, by accident, when their eyes locked. "Could you two please try and keep the romance secluded to the office! It's totally disgusting." Said a familiar voice. Bug and Lily both jumped and knocked heads be accident, causing nothing but more pain. Lily looked up to see Jordan looming over them with a huge grin. " Woody is really starting to rub off on you. You look just like him when you smile. And we where NOT being romantic, Miss C'mon-Woody-lets-go-to-my-office-and-make-out-for-an-hour. What on earth do you think you two where doing when I stepped into your office yesterday?" At this Bug burst out laughing and couldn't stop for about ten minutes when he caught Jordan's look. "Sorry. I just never took the time to picture you two kissing." At kissing, he screwed up his face as if the idea revolted him. "Oh, you're SO funny. Might I mention that night you spilled your guts out to me, there were a few things that might come out at very bad times such as NOW!" Bug looked scared, while contrary to him, Lily looked extremely interested. "What would be so bad about it escaping now? The only people who would hear it would be you, Bug, and me." "That's the point, because they involve-" "Nigel." Bug interrupted her, with a look that would make anybody shut up. Unfortunately, Lily caught this and got suspicious. "Oh, well, he tells me everything. We did almost get married, in case you don't remember." "Lily now is not a good time to be bringing that up." "What he's trying to politely say, so as not to hurt anyone's feeling's is SHUT UP!" When Jordan said this she got two looks. The one from Bug said that when he was alone with her she was going to die and the one she got from Lily was one of hurt. Lily also gave this look to Bug which brought forth "No, it isn't. She wouldn't know because she isn't me. I was just saying that maybe he doesn't tell you everything. I mean, yeah he shared with everyone that he loved Bevan, but hey. Maybe he just has to tell some things to a guy first." All of this lying to Lily was making Bug uncomfortable, but it was worth it when she looked thoughtful. "You're probably right. I mean, I'm definitely not a guy. I'm a grief counselor/secretary. Sorry guys. I guess I just kinda like to think that if it weren't for Garrett I would be married to a guy that said he thinks I can be pretty." "You are pretty. What's he doing saying you can be? The stupid, English git." Bug said this all very fast, and then started insulting Nigel in Hebrew. This made Lily start cracking up, mostly because he was accidentally saying parts of the insults in American. "Bug, it's not that bad. Honestly. You'd think he had said I was the ugliest person in the world, or something." "Who said you were the ugliest person in the world, luv. Shall Bug and I go thrash him for you?" "Oh, yes absolutely. His name is Nigel Townsend and he lives in Boston, Massachusetts." "Okay. You wouldn't happen to have his address. Hey, that's me." Lily and Jordan were crying with laughter, and Bug was glaring at him. Just then Garrett came over to see what was going on, and he got a very odd start of the day picture. Lily and Jordan laughing so hard that they couldn't breath, Nigel looking confused, and Bug glaring at Nigel. Okay, so Bug glaring at Nigel wasn't that odd. "What the heck is going on here? You two, stop laughing, Bug, stop glaring at Nigel, and somebody explain why me employees are all in one big group instead of working." Lily was the first one to obey orders, and Bug was the last. Lily said, " Sir, it all started when me and Bug ran into each other, stop laughing Jordan, it isn't that funny. I am being quite serious about our running into each other, as you can see by the coffee on our shirts. Then Jordan comes out, starts talking to Bug about something, not quite sure what yet, and Nigel comes after I was telling Bug something that Nigel said to me, and Bug got mad about it, and then you came out after we were making of Bug and Nigel." She said this all in one breath so Garrett said, "Thank you, Miss Lebowski, now go breath and change shirts." "I didn't bring an extra one today sir." "That's okay. You can borrow mine." "Thanks, Jordan." "Welcome." " Okay, the morning briefing is now, and Lebowski, there's a couple here who's son died, talk to them after the brief. Everybody get in there."  
  
"Alright. I think that covers it. Any questions? Yes, Bug." "Why do this every morning if we all know what we are going to do?" "It's so you are not going on coffee breaks five minutes after you start and so that you can complain away from my office." "Oh." After the room had cleared the only one still there was Lily, who was writing something. Bug popped his head in. "Um, the 'couple' is ready to see you now, Lily, or should everybody call 'Miss Lebowski' seeing as how that's basically what gets your attention in these meetings." "Sorry. I was just writing some things down and wasn't paying attention." There was an almost evil twinkle in Bug's eyes as he said, " Can I see what you wrote?" "I guess, if you promise not to laugh." "Scout's word." He said as he held up two fingers, though he still had that twinkle, which ruined the serious look on his face. As she handed him the paper, she said something that he couldn't hear. The paper said:  
  
Nigel  
  
+ Bevan  
  
Jordan  
+ Woody  
  
Garret  
+ Nicole  
  
Peter  
+ Elizabeth  
  
Bug + _____  
  
Lily + No one  
  
Bug started laughing harder than Lily could ever remember him laughing before. "What's so funny?" "You. I'm sorry that I laughed, but you apparently know just how to get yourself very depressed." "Hey that happens to all be very true except maybe you, but I don't know for you because you don't tell me anything, but you tell Jordan and Nigel everything." "Oh, really. There are quite a few things I have never told either of them, so ha, ha, ha." "Oh yeah. Like what?" "Like I used to have a brother." "What do mean used to have?" By this time Bug had sat down next to her. "He got killed. He was watching TV and I was going to the kitchen to make him something to eat. It was raining so hard outside you wouldn't think anybody would want to go outside. He did. He slipped outside. I didn't believe he had gone outside until I heard a boy scream and brakes going. When my parents came home, the looks in their eyes told me that they thought it was my fault." "That's horrible. I'm sorry for poking and prodding the subject." "That's okay. It felt better telling you than it did feel telling that stupid physciatrist that Jordan sees all the time. I haven't told anybody but you and the physciatrist, so would you mind not telling?" "I'll take it to the grave." "Oh yeah. That old couple whose son died is ready to see you now."  
  
"Mr. and Mrs. Finster were the weirdest people I have ever seen. Why didn't you tell me they were his grandparents?" "Because it's always so much fun to see you mess up." "Oh, yeah. Well, anyway. Jordan wants you and I will get you back for this, so be prepared. Hang on Garrett, I'm coming." "Thank you very much Lebowski. Now, why were you yelling at Bug?" "He played a cruel practical joke on me that basically was he 'forgot' to tell me that the relatives of Jake Finster were his grandparents. Actually, that is exactly how it went." "Right. Jordan wants you and Bug to have the rest of the day off and I think she has good reasons for it, because you have been very depressed lately, so I agreed. Would you mind telling Bug for me? I have to call the electric workers, and get a suspension on that paper they forgot to send." "You wouldn't mean the paper I put in your briefcase, would you?" "LILY!"  
  
"Sorry. I meant to tell you, but I couldn't find you." "Just go find Bug and tell him. Maybe you two could spend the day together." Though Lily didn't know it, Garret had plans for them. Such as they would finally stop being depressed and be friendly. "Sure thing." On the way, Lily saw Nigel and asked him if he knew where Bug was. "No. Why are you looking for him? Are you two going on a date? You really should be careful, luv. You really don't know that much about him." "You are being ridiculous, you practical joker. I know him perfectly well. You and Bevan are probably just not going on a date tonight so you don't want me going on a date. And no, we are not going on a date. That's rather disgusting, really." "What's disgusting?" "Nothing, Bug. We were talking about jobs." "Right. So whose job is 'rather disgusting, really'" For quoting Lily, he put on a high voice and acted like her. "Yours." "Ouch. That hurt." "I'm glad to hear that." "Would you two quit fighting? And Bug, don't pick fights, luv. It's not the way to pick up girls." "Oh, and you would know so much about that. And don't call me love. It's disgusting."  
  
"You sound like Lily."  
  
"I do not sound like a girl."  
  
"Yes you do. 'Don't call me love, it's disgusting.' That sounds like Lily."  
  
"You are such a moron."  
  
"Dork." "Loser." "That's enough name calling children." "You are acting like my mother." "I am not. Your mother hates me in every way, shape, or form. She thought I was a hooker." At that, Bug started laughing really hard. "She thought you were a hooker. That's the funniest thing I've heard all day." "I'm not joking." "That doesn't make it any less funny." "Whatever. Anyway, Garrett says you and I have the day off, and Garrett wants us to spend the day together because he thinks you will be able to cheer me up, which isn't likely, since you are not in the best of moods." "I'll probably be in a better one after I'm away from chirpy here." After gathering their things, Bug and Lily went outside and immediately started arguing about whose car to go in. "We are going in my car and that's the end of it." "Mahesh Vijayaraghavensatyanaryanamurthy, we are going in my car. I hate your car." "I feel the same about your car." "I don't care how you feel about my car. We are taking my car and that's it." "Fine. But I won't be happy about it. Your car is so hideous." "I like it, and the police can't see if it is going to fast." "That is pure genius. Why didn't you tell me that before?"  
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The rest of the day was the most fun they had had in a long time. They went to a movie and then just drove around in the car talking. Now they were having coffee. "You think up the weirdest ways to torture all of us, you know that right?" "Well, Lily, I can honestly say I have never been insulted better. Except maybe when my grandmother pinched my cheeks and said I looked like her dead husband." "Your grandmother told you that. That is funny, because you do look rather dead." "Oh, that's harsh." "Really? Then I achieved my goal. C'mon, let's go to the Porgue if you are so chipper." "Okay, Let's say I wasn't that chipper. What would we do?" "Drive around and think of some really stupid things to say that we'll later regret. Why?" "Okay. Driving does sound very fun, but I think maybe the Porgue sounds better." "Why didn't it sound good in the first place?" "Because work let out eight minutes ago and everybody will be there to tell us how boring the work day was without us there. Which, when they are all good and drunk will be completely different." "Do you always assume the worst?" "Mostly, yeah." "C'mon. Get in the car." "Why?" "Because we are going to the Porgue." "Oh great."  
***********************  
  
In the car, they were talking when there was a loud popping noise, and when they got out to see what was wrong, Lily saw a flat. "Bad news." "Can't be worse than mine." "What's yours?" "There's a flat over here." "Here too." "Great. I have two flats, one spare, and no tools. What does that equal?" "Exercise?" "You have to be joking. You have obviously never seen me in the gym, or else you would know that I hate running." "It's one block from here. What's wrong with that?" "Oh. In that case, what are we waiting for." "That's my Lily. Let me check the trunk and make sure it locks." As he went around behind the car, Bug stared at Lily. He wasn't paying attention to where he was going so he tripped on a crack in the sidewalk. Lily asked if he was okay, then started laughing slightly. Then he went to the trunk and opened it. Inside he saw some very good news. "Lily. I just found the tools for changing a tire and two tires. Do you know what that means?" "No exercise if you know how to change a tire. Do you?" "Yes, I think. I kinda forget, but it's basically all in there." "Right. Change the tire please." "Sure thing sweetheart." "Okay, you're creeping me out." "Sorry." "That's okay. Just don't do that again." "Okay."  
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At the Porgue, Bug looked like he had something to say. "You okay Bug? You wanna say something?" "Tell you later." He said as Nigel came over. "How are the lovebirds doing? How was your day? And why do you look like that, Bug?" "I look like this because I changed two tires, our day was fine, and I don't know. Why don't you go ask them?" "Hi Nigel. What he said. I agree that we aren't lovebirds. But you and Bevan are though. She's pouting because you are over here with me and not over there with her. She probably thinks you love me, I would know because I'm very possessive too. Her and I decided that the other day." About two hours later, Lily remembered that Bug wanted to tell her something. She went over to him. "You wanted to tell me something earlier and I figured that this was later." "Right. Could you close your eyes please?" "Okay." As she closed her eyes, Bug couldn't help but think how beautiful she was. After her eyes were closed he leaned in and kissed her full on the mouth. "Before you say anything, I need to say something, okay? Lily, I love you and have loved you for a very long time. And I just had to tell you that now because I've wanted to tell you all day, but it was never quite the right moment. Now that you now that I love you, could you answer one thing? Do you have any feelings for at all?" After a second or two, Lily leaned in and kissed him for a very long time. Then everybody broke into cheering and clapping, which made them break apart. "I'll take that for a yes." "Oh yeah."  
  
The end.  
  
" 


End file.
